Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
