i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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