he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
