My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
