Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so explain again why im purple
no
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
