I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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