Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
