At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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