someone threw a dead crab at me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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