Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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