Pappa wants mamma naked
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize