Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
