If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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