I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Houston, we have a squirter
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
