Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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