so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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