I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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