You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
