Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We left the knife in your bed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
