I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
