i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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