So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize