He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
