I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
