Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
