Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
