Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Small penises have feelings too.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
