alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's never too late to be topless.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
