Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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