I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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