She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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