if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How does one acquire holy water?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
