Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize