i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
