we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
