She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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