It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
