Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
