Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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