I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and she was petting her beer can
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
