she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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