What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
