What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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