im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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