Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
