I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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