what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
