I can tuck mytits in my pants
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
