Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
