hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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