I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
