i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
