maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
