i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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