dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
