There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
