There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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