she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
