so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
